I walk with a wiggle, I talk with a giggle! My eyes are multicolored and I have no bellybutton. I’m a mutant and my super power will make Jake’s tail curl!!! I bring BIG O’S to my man and the smile will never leave his face! I’m not the girl your Mother warned you about Jake; she couldn’t think up something THIS naughty! Pick me baby and you’ll ALWAYS have a good time!!
Ringmaster April Applebottom can’t wait to show you how she tames the lion she will tease your senses with her trained lion and crazy antics. She’s bring a huge surprise this year. So come one come all and feast your eyes on apple bottom as she puts her head in a lions mouth.
Coming to a big top near you, The Hub City’s very own Betsey BabyDahl!
a sassy sweetart, the knife throwing knockout, a dame by many names, this babe is ready to go for another title. (Yes folks, Miss Betsey has marriage in mind with Long Beach’s own Suave Swamp Dweller). The Clark Kent of modern day, Betsey is a paralegal by day, showgirl by night and trained in the art of getting right under your gills with her comedic charm. She has had her sights on becoming Jake’s bride from the very first moment she pressed her face against the glass display case at Marsh’s Museum decades ago. And you can bet your Sweet Baby Rays that this year’s birthday bash is not to be missed! Betsey is prepared to slice through the competition and aim straight for Jake’s heart.
Acid Rain was an infant held in a government lab, where 9 other new borns were being tested on for confidential scientific studies. when a huge chemical spill caused the plantation to be shut down but never cleaned up. acid rain was the only remaining child who live off of toxic waste and form into a mutant alien humanoid. For my talent I will being singing a cover of the song Toxic to win the heart of Jake. And together take over the world and governemt power one freak at a time.
SWILLIE: Sweets & Millie
Circus Talker: LADIES & GENTLEMEN! YOUNG & OLD! SHORT & TALL! NARROW & WIDE! ALLIGATOR & MAN! STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE SWILLIE— THE SISTER ACT THAT IS SWEEPING ACROSS THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST! SWILLIE— WOOING JAKE MAKING IT THE LOVE TRIAD OF OUR TIME… (Meanwhile, inside of SWILLIE’s dressing trailer practicing their spiel) Millie: SWILLIE is one…er, two?…are we two, Sweets? Sweets: OMG! We’re connected, Millie…we’re officially ONE! Millie: You’re not always right, ya know! Let me start over…*eh-hum*…We are SWILLIE! Sweets: The Conjoined Acro-Alligator Sisters! Millie: Darlings of the Sideshow… Sweets: And of people across the land, the world ‘round AND throughout the universe! Millie: Way to be dramatic! Sweets: Way to be a sea urchin! Millie: SWILLIE is one… Sweets: *YAWN* Not this again… Millie: (Shoots a look over at Sweets)…*uh-hum*…I said. SWILLIE is one of… Sweets: (shooting Millie a nasty look right back) …the contestants for the Bride of Jake this August in… Millie: …Long Beach, Washington, USA. Sweets: Did you know it’s a WELL-KNOWN fact that Jake likes ME better? Millie: Hey—that’s not part of the pitch! Besides, I met him FIRST and pursued him INITIALLY! I think you just want him because I do. Sweets: I think you’ve landed on your head one too many rehearsing from our routine as Jake obviously thinks… Millie: …YOU’RE INSANE! Sweets: AND YOU’RE A CLUELESS BARNACLE! Millie: He’s MINE! Sweets: No…Jake’s MINE! Millie: OVER OUR DEAD BODY! Sweets: I guess we’ll have to settle this… Millie: …in Long Beach in August. Yeah— you’re on! Sweets: You mean, WE’RE ON!
The sultry siren who will lure you to your darkest desires.
Originally from the great state of Texas. Miss Vivian Rose is an
actress, singer, burlesque performer, and costume designer.
Known for having the highest kill rate on the Portland burlesque stage,
Vivian will titilate and excite you. Though survival is not guaranteed,
you will be in for an amazing experience.
Tina, the Tin Tijuana Tantalizer
Well, we hear that Jake likes his ladies cold blooded. What better to grease his gills than a serpent spouse? This unique, Slithering Lady is sure to arouse his attention with a wiggle and a giggle in just the right places. She’s a delight to see, music in motion…