When we received our Bride of Jake entries  we knew we had two formidable opponents among the small batch of entrants this year along with our beloved the talented Squdlette who has been part of our the Jake family since she was a tiny girl and April  who has been a fun contestant for the last two years and her sidekick Jennifer. It came down to Lisa Leah and Miss Spooky both amazing talented women who have fame and respect in their particular  genres of entertainment. Miss Spooky for her famed sideshow talents performing with Ward Hall’s World of Wonders. For Jake she walked a ladder of swards to ooos awes and gasps from the audience. In the end the judges were unable to give us a solid decision so it was left to the audience to choose and they chose Lisa Lea who talent was a zany comedy act that involved cake decorating and comedic timing. Lisa has a impressive rock n roll resume that started in the  in early 80’s in Hollywood, Ca with the Barking Spiders and Dirty Sweet moving to  Portland she played with Lady Speed Stik, The Die Jobs, The Altarboys, Hellside Stranglers. She is currently with Bitch School, and Pistol Whiplash. Her interests are playing lead guitar, Punk & Rock Vinyl records, Dive Bars, hangin’ with my sick-humored friends so it stands to reason she makes a stellar Bride of Jake.
Official Winning Line up
Squidlette declined to officially compete to win because of her prior educational commitments but she gave such a beautiful performance that included a very creative story line about her character she made all of us very proud especially her parents.
April and Jennifer with a star wars number took Bridesmaid of Jake.
Miss Spooky took Bridesmaid of Honor.
Lisa Lea took Bride Of Jake.

Contestant#3
Contestant #2
Contestant #1
Contestant#3
Contestant #2
Contestant #1
Contestant #4

 Miss Spooky!
Contestant #1

Imagine our delight when this entry came in! The first 2017 Bride of Jake Contestant Miss Spooky! We are thrilled to welcome a true queen of the sideshow (aka) Queen of Pain to the contest!
Miss Spooky is world class side show performer. Most, recently performing with Ward Hall’s World of Wonders. The World of Wonders is, in fact the last traveling ten in one circus side show left in the world today!
Miss Spooky notorious for performing such dangerous stunts as dancing on broken glass, climbing a ladder of swords, the human pincushion, meditating on beds of nails, and escaping from a straitjacket suspended by her ankles. These acts have rightfully earned her the nickname “Queen of Pain”. After many years of being out with the carnival, Miss Spooky is looking to settle down and she has only one man in mind.

Lisa lea!
Contestant #2

As a small child in Kentucky, I was abducted by aliens…and promptly returned because I was to wild for their alien sensibilities. Fast forward to my tumultuous teenage years in New Mexico, being mere miles from Roswell, the aliens tried to abduct me again..luckily for me I had just caught two rattlesnakes bare handed and hurled them in their direction which surprisingly created a massive dust devil engulfing the whole of their craft…it was at this time the aliens realized that I was the same wild child they encountered years past..the aliens fled and I was safe once again. Flash to my early 20s in Hollywood..playing rock and roll music and partying on Sunset those damn aliens tried for me again in the guise of the glam band Poison.. in their sneakiness, they lured me to their spaceship (masterfully disguised as a disgusting bachelor pad)..I woke up on the balcony covered in what can only be described as scales and I realized that they were some kind of alligator men from outer space…it was then that I knew that I had a thing for men of the alligator persuasion…

Squidlette!
Contestant #3

Squidlette is no stranger to our stage but little did we know she died years ago from the CHOREOMANIA plague, this dastardly plague made her dance furiously inspired but alas against her will. Now she is back in physical form dancing for ours and jakes entertainment! After this festival, Squidlette plans to spend her year teaching Jake to dance and we could not be more grateful! He needs this instruction!

Squidlette wanted us to know she would be honored to win any of the coveted positions but would have to turn down Bride because School would get in the way and in her words “I don’t think I’m quite ready for that, thank you!”

 

 

 

Penelope Portrait!