Kelsie Noel is an Oregon native who will cross the state line in hopes of winning Jake’s hand. As he has always been a part of her life since the time she was a little girl. Kelsie loves reading up on anything weird and mysterious she can get her hands on. Who doesn’t love finding the root of an urban legend? When Kelsie isn’t reading or working she likes to spend time with her pinup sisters and is a member of the Washington Luscious Ladies. Other hobbies include roller skating (former shanghai’d roller doll) and mixing tiki drinks 🙂

Sallee Mandarin I love to dwell in the wet dark crevices of the PNW. I have evolved beyond that of the typical Earth woman and feed off the souls of men not worthy of my company. You can find me playing in the water and teasing under the trees.





Luna Landing came to earth to conquer mankind but ended up gracing the stages of the Pacific Northwest. Skilled in the seductive and bizarre, she has been enchanting local burlesque audiences for the last 6 years. Her talents range from intergalactic travel to expert use of a confetti cannon, she’s sure to be a crowd pleaser. One thing’s for sure, she’s a force to be reckoned with on and off the stage. Watch out Jake! She’s coming for your heart and if all else fails she’s got a ray gun.


The lovely Pyrex Pinup Girl this Castle Rock native is a Domestic Goddess, mother to 4 boys kinda like the Cartwright’s only nowadays… and not on a ranch… and they don’t ride horses… ok not like them but still a badass mom! She excels in cooking, cleaning and FART JOKES! Enjoys classic cars and hanging out with her Unique Tin C.C. out of Longview WA.


Sugar Spillane, You’ve heard of the Men in Black, but have you heard of the Women in Black? Back from administrative leave for an investigation into a controversial and torrid love affair with the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Sugar Spillane is searching for new love. She’s looking for a man who has thick skin, a man who can swim circles around the competition, a man whose blood runs on the cooler side. And that man is Jake. Jake the Alligator Man.

She’s new to the PNW, but no stranger to living on the edge, the edge of a swamp, perhaps. Sugar Spillane is a member of the Washington Chapter of Luscious Ladies, a military veteran, and certified badass dedicated to keeping the world safe from alien scum.